Saturday, November 26, 2011

Update on Cancer Journey!

Hi everyone! Its been a very long time.  I will be coming back to blogland and with a vengence.  I have a business to build, a website to promote, and a life to be lived.  I need encouragement, uplifting people and positive thoughts.  From what I've learned and continue to learn at this point, I'm terminal. My oncologist will not say that, he believes in living, and fighting the fight and beating the odds. I'm glad he is like that, because I tend to be negative, scared and timid.  BUT...I'm fighting--its just maybe different than some do. So far, I've had 2 treatments, my 3rd will be this tuesday.  Treatment is hormone based, I took it very well last time--other than for about 3-5 days I was beyond tired and would fall asleep while sleeping lol.  this time I get the bone part of the treatment and the last time I had that I did not feel right-and my chest felt weird for about 2 weeks. I'm going to ask for a different bone treatment as I didnt like that. We shall see. My husband and my daughter go with me on my treatment days. I love that, I cannot be alone.  My husband and my kids are very supportive and loving, I could NOT ask for anything more.  However, and this seems to be a common thread amongst all cancer warriors...I get lonely.  Its a lonely I cannot explain.  I'm thinking what it is,,,is that I need someone who has cancer like me--to talk to.  They "get" it.  I dont want to burn out my husband,,it seems all we talk about is "cancer", how i'm feeling, etc.  Its not fair to him.  I dont want my end of life story to be--after I die--he runs out and finds some healthy lady that he falls madly in love with--has passionate sex with, because it felt so good to be with someone who didnt always talk illness, or show pain etc.  I want him to be having all his needs met also..its imperative that he does--because he is my caretaker.

My website for my business should be up and running hopefully this week.  I plan on building my business as best i can--for income for well as to leave my children with a business that is making a decent income so they have an inheritance.  I will be eternally grateful and at peace if I can do this. 

I'm still working about 13-15 hours per week at my full time job. I was approved for SSDI but that does not begin until april 1.  they make you wait 6 months. Do you think if anyone in the senate got a terminal disease they would wait for 6 months for a paltry 800 dollars a month. Not only that, they make you wait 2 years for health you are dying--and you have to wait 2 years!!!!  Thank god for right now--for today I'm ok to work and I have an employer that is willing to accept my limitations and I can keep my health insurance..thank you GOD!  What most of you dont know--or those that arent sick--is that is our reality.  so when I got sick at the end of sept--my life as i knew it stopped.  My full time income is done.  What i earn now will go to paying for our health insurance. I'm ok with that...but reality is , bills do not stop because you got cancer.  I have obligations to pay each month.  so far i've been able to pay them. I have a lease car--thank you god another smart decision i've made--so my payment on this new car is very cheap. I've been able to make that thru my business and pray I continue to do so.  My job covers the health insurance.  Thats all i have for now other than some small bills which I will be able to pay off.  I have to say--for any of you that enjoy candles--soy candles,,100% soy candles--please consider buying from me. I will do my best to make sure even with shipping its worth your financial while to do this.  I am trying to support myself with my business and I have no problem asking people to consider buying from me--keep the business in the U.S..and from someone who truly needs the income. 

another great thing about buying from me!!! Iguarantee my candles...if you find they dont burn right--I will replace them or your money. I've only had one breakage in my shipping so far and I've shipped as far as France! I now have customers in Los Angeles on their repeat order!!! that says alot to me..I'm so proud.

anyhow, I will be coming here more often to not only keep my cancer journey updated but also keep my business going strong.  I pray all of you are doing well out there!  I look forward to reconnecting with alot of you...I also look forward to "living" my life--one day at a time--truly and continuing with decorating and making my home or where ever I live--a comfortable beautiful place to spend my days and nights. I fully believe healing and life length is promoted by not only our oncologists, and treatments but by our mental attidtudes, our faith in God, prayers, and an environment that is positive, uplifting, beautiful and peaceful.