Thinking Girl!

Wow! Been along long time since I made a thinking girl post. I'm taking a couple days off of my regular job so I actually h ave time to play around. I'm in the process of teaching myself to learn how to make candles. I only wish I had another stretch of time to take...so much to learn.

Anyhow, I was blog reading this morning and came across a post that got me thinking, hence the thinking girl! Why do most of us blog? Surely most of us have some sort of reason. To vent, to utilize a tool to promote our home based business, to just have a place to come to, to meet fellow potential freinds...I dont know...many reasons I guess. For me personally, I began this blog just have something to do, that was it., Period. I found I got to enjoy the recipes, the home decorating and even many of you ladies. So much talent out there...so much.
I personally made the decision to keep my blog pretty much drama free (sometimes I cant help but rant about politics though) and I figure most of us have difficult enough lives that we dont want to come to blogland and see more "crap". Still, at times "crap" is there.

The one thing I see time and time again is people betrayed online--that wont ever end. But..what does confuse me to no end, is when people complain about "freindships" online and how they have been hurt, ignored--etc. It amazes me that some people will complain about this--and yet they do it all the time. I've been to many many blogs--as I'm sure most of you have...and many many times--the blog owner will NOT even pay us a visit..extend the courtesy. And then, that very same person will complain about this being done to them. I'm sorry folks but I cannot understand that...at all. If you are trying to support and encourage fellow bloggers--the courtesy needs to be extended..period. Now I know so many blogs are so "busy" with followers that it would take days to drop a quick post....I get that...BUT...over time a quick hello, how are you would be appreciated.

My blog to me, is just as important as anyones blog is to them...and no blog is more worthy than another. Why do things we do in "real life" in time--end up h ere also? Again, I think life is hard enough--coming here for smiles, ideas, encouragement should be what its all about. Remember when strangers come visit--they are looking for the same courtesy. Their blog is important to them also.

Drama, to me, needs no place here. I wont be a part of it, at all. Blogging to me, NEEDS to be stress free.

My thinking girl thoughts for today!

Thinking Girl, Friday,, What are your thoughts on Heaven?

I havent done thinking girl in awhile...because I wasnt really thinking about anything worth posting...BUT...I've got something now. 2 days ago I was listening to a radio station I came upon with 3 pastors answering call in questions from folks across the U.S. I dont normally listen to stuff like this because honestly, I am very weary of radio preachers, or tv preachers. Anyhow,,,I drive alot for my job so I thought I would just listen a bit. A caller called in and stated she has pets, dogs and that she loves them like her children and was wondering if when they die,,will they join her in heaven? The pastors began answering her,,,and one of them finally says...Well, No, I'll you why, First of all they have no souls, or spirits, and 2nd of all,,,God has something much richer and better for you planned, when you get to heaven. I was appalled...I was literally like--this is why I dont listen to you ninkempoops! First thing that comes to my mind is this.....God is MY father--all of our's father...and any of that have had children know how a parent feels about his child. We want to give them what they want--what makes them happy....do you NOT think God wants to do this for anymore for us??? His children....2nd of all but probably more important---that pastor basically just told that call in that her pets were not special in Gods eyes and they surely werent very meaninful because God is going to give her something "richer and better". Who the heck is he to say that? To many of us---our fur children are like our flesh and blood children. I did get a feeling inside my spirit and I beleive this is my self protection that I get directly from God...that this simply wasnt true. That yes...our pets will be with us again...God created them to give us joy and companionship here--he knows how our hearts become so entwined with our pets...and in many places of the Bible--there is talk of animals...Obviously God himself has a need and love for animals.

Which NOW brings me to think about heaven! By the way I did continue to listen to the 3 Stooges (pastors) and some of what they said was ok--and some was just..well the ole preaching stuff that I think drives alot of folks away. What do you think heaven is? Do you think we will sit around and bow at Gods feet all the time and sing praises to him? Do you think we will have jobs...similar things here that we have on Earth but no sin, no pain, no tears? I have no idea..but I do know this--I would love to experience life--without the pain, worry, sin, greed, wars, death, illness...I would love to sleep in the open,,surrounded by those I cared about here...and walk hand in hand with my creator and talk to him and gain knowledge of all the Why's I've had while here??? Yes I want to worship him for giving me all the gifts of life he has--my children, my marriage, my material gifts--and most of all even my pains of life... I truly didnt mind my pains because they made me who I am today. Walking thru fires...does something to us.

I hope that heaven allows us our creative sides, our joy and laughter...ideally like i said--just like here--but without all the stains of sin. When you really think about our afterlife--what do you hope and think its going to be? What about our partners? Now I wouldnt mind spending the enternity with Baldyman,,with breaks of course--lol...but I'm thinking more of those who are widowed young...of course in their lifetime they have loved possibly a couple of partners...who would you be with? It does make sense to me that we wont be aligned with our partners because of this reason---but that we would know each other and know what we had here on Earth. I'm interesting in all of your hopes and wonders about heaven...even fears if you have them. I normally dont post on weekends--so have a great weekend everyone and please leave me your thoughts on this!

Caring from a Distance

I'll admit I was at a loss this week about what to post for Thinking Girl Tuesday. And the reason is this....not because of lack of topics that I think about....but mostly because I'm pretty content with life these days and its hard for me to focus in on things that trouble me or trouble others, or trouble world.

However after talking with both of my Aunts yesterday there is something that think about that isnt to painful to pull out and has meaning in my life--maybe even some of yours.

Sometimes in our lives--we have to separate from people. We choose to live apart from them and not have anything to do with them. For some of us that can mean basically no contact at all,,or minimal contact. In my personal life--with my birth family I have made a decision many years ago and it actually continues to not have contact with many of my family members. I come from a large family, I'm the oldest of 8. It seems like every year I add No Contact to more and more people...actually I'm run out! I used to question if i was doing the right thing. In my mid 40's I stopped questioning--I knew I was doing the right thing. Some of these people would question my caring or love for people or even my ability to forgive. I used to wonder about that also--but no more on that either. I've learned--you certainly CAN love and care and forgive others and do it from a distance. One thing about getting older....you learn self love and self care are of the most important because if we dont take care of ourselves FIRST--how can we be a good Mom--good wife, good friend, good worker--etc..when we are so wore out from caring for others? How can we be any good as human beings if we are so beat up from others beating us up? Self-Protection....its imperative if your from a family that is so horribly dysfunctional it could possibly kill you from stress. While some may perceive me as self absorbed--uncaring, distant---what it really is--is self care so that I can be at my best for my own family, my self, my life. I made a choice many years ago that I no longer wanted to stand in the middle of the road and let semi trucks roll me over constantly. The older you get--the harder it is to pickyour up and dust yourself off and continue on. I chose....peace and serenity. I cannot live in a world of constant fighting--back stabbing, lying, manipulation and game playing. That is no kind of life at all. If one wants a better life--you can make it--its your choice to do. People cannot change others--only you can change you.

Its a fact you can care from a distance. I continue to pray for those I care about--and yes it does trouble me that some of them may end their lives never knowing peace and tranquility. Some may never know a true genuine freindship or smile. Some may never know what its like to have a day of smiles, fun, pure joy and happiness. Its their choice, not mine. Again, it dosnt mean I dont care--I do--but I also care about my self and my children and grandchildren. I care enough to show them a better way of life--I care enough that I wanted to give them a life that I never had--and not material things--a life of safety, happiness, protection, and love. And to do that--sometimes you have to let go of others that intend to trample on that--and you have to move forward. Caring from a distance....thats what I do. I find myself praying more and more for alot of my birth family members---the turmoil continues to grown, the evil has permeated so many of their lives---the next generations are tasting it now. Its very sad to watch some of the children of the children--repeat the cycles of dysfunction. Still, from a distance--all you can do is pray--and hope..hope that someone else will want a better life and get some help and change the process. Remove themself from the insanity and start walking the road to change. Its not easy--but it can be done.

I dont know if any of you have chosen to care from a distance--it can be lonely at times--and sad. And yes even times you feel guilty that maybe you dont really care..but you also know deep down you have to do this--because if you dont--they will pull you down to their level and thats a level that is so full of hatred and self destruction its aplace we dont want to be.

Today for those we've chosen to care for from a distance--lets end up a little prayer for God to be able to touch their hearts and souls. Just maybe, someday they can figure things out and perhaps make a better life for themself and those around them--before its to late.

History being made is awfully expensive

History will be made today. Surely and exciting day across our land, for many reasons, for many people. Even for those who didnt vote for Obama--you have to admit--there is still that teeny tiny spark of --HOPE. All of us no matter who we voted for, wanted a change. We want the war to end, our soldiers home safe, we want our country safe, we want better economics and the overall feeling in this country to change from dismal to hope.

Today is it--its here. No going back now. Obama starts and all we can do now is wait and see. Yesterday at work the ladies had a discussion about today. All I could think and it popped right out of my mouth was--I realize history is being made, but what I cant justify or understand is the cost of what its going to be--to make history. Everyone--was like--There ya go--thats how I feel to. Maybe being in the field we are in-makes us a different breed I dont know. All we can think about are the jobs lost, the homes being lost, businesses closing, homeless shelters full, food pantries empty, mothers and children not having their needs met--programs not having anything available for low income families due to funding being gone, and here America sits willing to spend $170 million PLUS for a darn party. YES its history,, I get that..YES its cause for a huge celebration of some sort. BUT...I said I cannot imagine having a dress put on me that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. I would literally puke. I cannot fathom that. I cannot fathom getting into a vehicle that is brand new at a cost of hundreds of thousands--when the other vehicle is still superb and fits the needs a President has. I cannot understand this. All of us regular folks--know full well a beautiful dress can be had for hundreds of dollars...period. Haircuts and styles dont have to be hundreds--they can be $20.00's lol.

Theres just something very wrong when our country is in the place it is, to see this kind of money being spent. I'm not saying its Obama--heck in fairness to him alot of it probably isnt. I've seen some of the donations some of these Corporations are giving--well heck--take those donations and give those to trustworthy charities so that we can ensure human beings have food, shelter, medical care, personal supplies etc. Give those donations to Human Service Organizations that will provide services to families to keep them from falling apart. There are endless needs across our land that can use that money to ensure basic human needs are met. I can tell you what wont be met--beautiful gowns, plates of overpriced food, overpriced exotic flowers, over priced hair salons,over priced jewelry, and on and on.

Today begins a new journey for our Country--I'm scared to say the least. Very scared. As the excitement is being promoted by the Media--all I see are the continuation of loss of businesses, lack of services for the needy, and a continued high need for basic needs for our fellow Americans. That really bothers me as a human being. For me, I cannot rejoice and party (unless its a small party) when all around me there is an ocean full of sinking people. I dont know how those in our government can do it...I just cant.

Your time?

This topic for Thinking Girl Tuesday is kinda weird, BUT its a biggie with me and I"m just wondering if this is important to other women, or do I swim pretty much alone in this boat.
I grew up in a large family-8 brothers and sisters. I was always surrounded by people, always in a crowd. We had 5 children, again--always a busy hectic household. Thru all this, even when I was a young girl, I valued and craved and NEEDED my quiet time. It never bothered me to be alone. I like it. That is one of the ways I found i restore myself.
My husband is self-employed. In other words, he is home alot. He claims he isnt..but I think he is. 2 years ago he bought a new computer because he said the one I was using was ancient, slow and he was tired of seeing me frustrated with it. So he comes home with this new computer for what he said was my birthday present. Now mind you, Baldyman is kinda like me,,cheap. He dosnt buy expensive gifts for anyone! Well, he would buy expensive for his kids before me--lol.
I should have known there was an ulterior motive--but I didnt pick up on it. So here I am thinking and feeling kinda guilty because he bought me a computer. Anyhow,,,I notice, more and more-HE is on the computer. He slowly and quietly and eventually had all his business stuff transferred onto "my" computer. As of today--its entirely on the computer and he probably uses it more than i do now! AND...he's home alot. Somedays I actually have to call him to see if he's gone because I want to come home, and have some quiet time or hope to have some...AND be able to use "my" computer. Actually, I do that alot! I call him--and I tell you most times--he is at home. Now, I like the fact that he can let Genie out when I cant...but I'm getting awfully frustrated that its almost appearing if he's retired without telling me!
I read so many blogs where I see women will say how much they love their husband--still googly eyes after all these years....Okk I get that...but tell me does your husband actually LEAVE the house for awhile? Do you get to cook alone, bake, listen to your music, enjoy the scents of candles instead of burps and farts???? Now thats a biggie for me...we have 2 bathrooms--one at each end of the house. He will use each bathroom--right after the other--its almost like he starts in one and finishes in the other so that the entire house smells like crap! I'm not kidding--this is what this man does!
I told him yesterday--I dont know how much more i can take and I said it on a serious note-he thinks I'm not. I'm seriously considering buying a container potty and placing it in the basement and making him go down there. It would be worth paying someone to empty it once a month and have my house not smelling like butt all day.

Ok I dont know how I got onto to that topic--but probably because he's home to much. The thought I'm trying to get across is, I miss my ME time, I miss having a quiet home to restore my soul, I miss using my own computer NOT full of business crap that I think slowed it down and he swears its not his stuff but my stuff. Are any of you able to enjoy "me" time each day...or how often, or do you even need it? I cant imagine loving someone so much that you never need a break from them. I tell Baldyman--give me a CHANCE to miss you! I dont know--this is my thinking girl topic for today....I thrive on being alone and having some quiet. I'm just curious on how other women feel or even men. Is it something you value, or need, or could care less about. I'm very curious to find out!

P.S.--I am on the lookout for a small desk for my bedroom window--AND a very inexpensive laptop so that for real I have my own computer!

The Blame Game

Todays thoughts are on the Blaming game..I need to take my mind off a name for my body care business before I fall over. You guys got me going though!

Anyhow, I'm sure every one of us knows something that for some "odd" reason always is in a crisis mode. Something is always wrong, there is major drama going on, things are chaotic, AND its NOT ever caused by some poor choice they made or some poor thing they did. Its ALWAYS caused by another. Does that NOT drive you nuts?

I see it in my work almost daily, I grew up in it--I married it. I remember my husbands mother used to say--There's just a black cloud that follows you and Greg around..you poor kids. Well, it took me a few years to figure it out--but there was no black cloud--it was GREG! He made alot of poor choices--bad decisions, lived a lifestyle that wasnt appropiate for a family....now what do you think is going to happen? Do you think our life would be easy--fun, un eventful, full of peace and joy???? NOPE...when you live a chaotic lifestyle, you will be in constant drama--constant anxiety, constant stress. The key to getting out of it--is to learn it really is all about YOU and what your doing. I used to tell Baldyman, I'm using all this energy and life of mine to deal with things that are preventable in life...when unpreventable happens to me--I wont have any energy left. Do you know how scary that was to me? I kept thinking--what if a child of mine gets very ill---dies, or I got sick--or he did? I wouldnt have had the coping skills back then--all my energy went into dealing with his everyday insane decisions. Today at 50, I still see how i lack energy or things that happen---I see myself clam up and pull away.

Now, when I deal with this thru my job or my adult children--or family members I come right out and tell them---If you want things to change--YOU have to be the one who changes. You cannot blame the world--the economy, your spouse, whatever, the change and ending of the blaming game--starts with you! I learned by doing it. I stopped blaming my spouse, his parents--his choices,,I just got up and did what I needed to do--to get the life I needed to live for me and my children. We can blame all we want--but at the end of the day nothing will be different. A lady I work with--not to long ago told me after a court hearing--She wants us in her life--that way she has someone to blame! I was like--WOW--I hadnt thought about that way for this particular client--but she was dead on. This person, takes 0 accountability for anything in her life 0--yet all around her because of decisions she makes or dosnt make--her life is falling apart.

Sometimes I think to try and save someone a few years of their life--you just need to come right out and tell them how it is. Dont beat around the bush--just lay it on the line. It may not change a thing--but thats ok. I feel if you've done your part in sharing with them why things are the way they are--its up to them to learn from that. If they dont want to--then can sit in their boiling pot alone. I'm practicing that more and more in my job--just laying it out there. Dont waste my time trying to convince me its everyone's fault your in this crappy place in life...accept the decisions YOU'VE made or not made and look at yourself first.

If you know someone like this--dont let them waste one more minute of your precious day--lay it on the line--we could all wake up every day and blame someone or something for what happens--but for some of us--we've chosen to take accountability for the quality of life we live, and we step up and make changes when something interferes with that. People wont move forward until they can accept their part in where they are at...so you really are helping them but not letting them play the blame game. Most of us truly want to help---so think of it that way...Go help someone today!

Thinking Girl --Annie

No thinking girl picture today. BUT..its a thinking girl topic. These are my twins, they are 23. The one on the left is "Annie" her real name is Elisa. The other one is "Tia"....real name Tara. Annie graduated on Saturday--she's a registered nurse. The other graduates in May--she will be an elementary teacher.

Annie moved about 3 hours away 2 years ago to complete her nursing schooling. About 6 months ago she decided she wanted to move out of the place she was living with a roomate and get her own place. She had a decent job--while attending college. She wasnt feeling real safe with the girl she was living with,,mostly because her roomy liked to party and sometimes bring guests home. Annie dosnt do that. She found a really nice place--brand new. She applied and this is when it all started. I should have told her NO back then--but hind sight is 20/20. They told her she needed a Co-signer to rent the apartment because her credit score was only in the 400's. She was confused because her credit score is actually in the 700's. She called us and we told her to tell them to recheck. They continued saying she needed a Co-Signer. I told her to move on and find a different place. She insisted she felt safe in this place and wanted to move in. Sooo..I cosigned for her. NOW the funny part is my credit IS bad...most of you know my story. My credit is only in the high 500's. They passed me but NOT her. Ok...she moves in..is happy. She signed a year lease. Her brother got married in October. She asked her work what she needed to do to take the couple days off to attend his wedding. They told her what to do--she did it all. She came home,,we did the wedding thingy. She goes back to work on Monday--they tell her she's fired due to not informing them of needing the couple days off. She is like--What? I did all you told me to--so what--they fired her. She calls us crying--we just tell her--keep going to school--somehow as a family we will all support her. Okkkk..so thats what we been doing. She gets closer to graduation and begins applying for jobs as an RN. She gets an interview closer to home--goes thru all that--is hired! Okkk..next up is how does she get out of the lease? I suggest to her to ask the company if they maybe have apartments in our area and she transfers. They do--and so they talk to my husband and he is told she can transfer here--she can get a 2 bedroom for less than she was paying up there for a 1 bedroom. All she needs to do is pay the security deposit--and move in. So we figure all is well in her world.

2 days before Graduation she calls us crying--she is told she dosnt have the RN job. They called where she was fired and they told them they fired her. She put them down as a reference thinking because her work was good it would be ok. It didnt occur to her she was fired and even though she is a good worker and did what they told her to do--that it would haunt her. Sooo...she has no job. We continue to tell her--okkk--let it go--keep applying. So she does. She graduates. We move her stuff out of her place and load up. We go to dinner to celebrate her graduating. She calls us at dinner--(she brought the keys back) and she tells us she did a walk thru and the manager proceeds to tell her all the damage she did---scratches on the wall,,,stove not cleaned--a stain on the floor..etc..and that he will be nice and pay half and she pays half--the fee is 15 dollars an hour. She signs the paper and leaves. She gets to dinner and we are like--NOOO way. We moved her in and out and we cleaned that place and there was 0 damage. Soo I told my husband--we have got to get back in that apartment and get pictures and not allow this. We go back to the apartment and my husband asks if he can get back in. The manager says NO..once we do a walk thru its done. My husband says--well then can we at least talk. The manager comes out and says--So whats your complaint? My husband says--what makes you think I'm hear to complain? he says--well it cant be good if your back here. My husband says--well we moved her in and out and there is no damage. The manager proceeds to state how bad the paint was--etc. Then he says--Oh forget it--lets go in I'll show you. So they go in..hubby pulls out the camera and begins taking pictures. The manager says--Ohhh yeah take pictures of all the good stuff, forget the stove--forget the stain. My husband says--Oh show me what your concerns are and I'll take pictures of that to. So he did. I'm tellin you the place is like new. my husband says--there is no way she owes them any money and we will do what we need to do to ensure she gets all her money back.

NOW....that is Saturday night after graduation. We drive 3 hours back home. Sunday we get up--and proceed to move her to her new place about 15 minutes from us. We get there and that manager comes out and tells her what she needs to pay and its 300 dollars MORE than what my husband was told. My husband says What???? We were told she only needs this amount. The manager says--well milwaukee called and said she needs to pay for the remaining time of December. My husband says I was not told that and why would I have moved her when she paid all of Decembers rent? Well that manager called milwaukee and Milwaukke refused to budge..so my husband said--We are done with this company--we are leaving. That manager was very nice and said he felt real bad for her because he felt she shouldnt be paying for that 2 weeks since she already paid for December plus he wanted to rent to her--because she is single professional and he likes those kinds of tenants.

Soo, hubby moved her in with us for now. We dont know at this point if she is still liable for the remaining 6 months on the lease. We do have pictures to fight the security deposit. I'm just disgusted that a hard working, honest, girl--got so screwed over by both this management company and her previous job. She found out at graduation on Saturday that the lady who fired her from the job--was escorted out of work place 2 weeks ago and she was fired. So her Karma already came around. She does have an interview tomorrow with a hospital here in town--and she will tell them upfront about what happened with the job. Job Wise I feel she will be fine.

I dont feel she should have to be liable for the 6 months lease because she did a walk thru and they signed off and she didnt resign a new lease on the other place. Plus they were so unethical in their practices. However,,,I do think she will be liable for the 6 months. It truly truly bothers me at how these companies can do such underhanded practices and NOT have consequences and yet someone does all the right stuff and attempts to do things correctly and they get punished.

I have someone at work that is very knowledgeable in housing and renting laws--so he is helping us. Im willing to help her thru this as much as I can. I'm just very sad for her--she got burned so much in the last 2 months since her brothers wedding. She's a good hard worker--a really good kid. I just hate the unfairness and injustice in our world.

That is my Tuesday thinking post and that is what is going on with our little family right now.

Thinking Girl Tuesday-Depression!

Basic Guidelines to help diagnose the possibility of Depression:

Although there is no blood test to diagnose depression, there are well developed clinical guidelines used by health care professionals to diagnose major depressive disorder. One of these guidelines, developed by the American Psychiatric Association, is called the DSM-IV^®. Your health care professional may ask you questions based on this established diagnostic guideline.

According to the DSM-IV, major depressive disorder (or "depression") is diagnosed when five or more of the following symptoms of depression are present for most of the day, nearly every day for at least 2 weeks. At least one of the symptoms must be either persistent sad or "empty" feelings or loss of interest in activities.

• Constant sadness
• Irritability
• Hopelessness
• Trouble sleeping
• Low energy or fatigue
• Feeling worthless or guilty for no reason
• Significant weight change
• Difficulty concentrating
• Loss of interest in favorite activities

Be sure to tell your health care professional if you're experiencing any of these symptoms as described by the DSM-IV. Also, tell your health care professional if your symptoms are affecting your ability to function at home, at work, or with family, friends, or colleagues.

The DSM is what is used as a guideline to see if the possibility of a mood disorder could be going on. Personally, I think you need to look at it from 2 ways....How YOU feel and/or watching those around you that you know and love. Most of us I would hope would be able to tell if we think something just isnt quite right--perhaps we've been "down" for just to long a time or we find ourselves just not feeling as chipper as we normally do. Those around us, hopefully would let us know in a loving way that "is it possible we could be depressed". Times to really take notice would be--After having a child, a divorce, job loss, death of loved ones, and other serious life changing episodes. Menopause and Peri-Menopause are other times that could trigger depression in women, and some men to. I know for me personally, I've noticed I did go into depression as I got older. I was put on Paxil during my divorce several years ago--but I found myself so complacent that I went off of it. Recently, within the last 6 months I went back onPaxil but on a much lower dose...10 mg and I'm finding it is making a difference in how I feel and handle stresses in my life and its also NOT affecting my sex life. Medications for Depression are one of the main complaints among women as affecting the quality of their sex life. If you find that for you personally this was true--dont give up--tell your doctor you want to go on a lower dose. And of course give it at least 2 months before you can expect to feel a difference.

Depression dosnt always trigger sadness or complacency....I think in men you need to watch for signs of anything out of the ordinary for that person. Men exhibit sometimes different signs when they are going thru depression. Some will go purchase that shiny new red car, the behavior going on isnt a match for what is really happenning!

What I've seen way to often in my work....is scary to me. Its actually forced me to truly watch over myself--my loved ones and even go to my husband and ask him to watch over me. I've seen so many women become over medicated--to the point they become zombies, almost unable to function at a daily level. Their speech is impaired, their skin takes on a different appearance, they cant make minor decisions...most of the time they end up on SSI because they truly cannot function. To me, that is scary. I have literally sitten down with women and their husbands and counted out how many prescriptions their wives were on--and then did research and came back and showed them how meds were conflicting with others and how dangerous it was. Some husbands were so "fed up" with the wives, they didnt care...some were shocked and did as I asked them and began accompanying their wives to the doctor visits. Some women will go to various doctors to get different meds because in time--you do get hooked. Its very very scary to me. I truly wonder how many people end up in worse shape because of this overload of meds. Truly if your thinking you have a mood-disorder and you may try out a medicine--alert someone you love and trust to watch over you. My husband knows my fear and he knows to watch for things in my behavior that maybe I would not know is going on.

Depression can be situational, genetic, brought on my other illnesses...but it can be treated and very successfully treated. The key I think is to manage it, alert those around you to watch over you while being treated and dont be afraid to talk about it. Make it a point to watch those you love also--for the same reasons that I've asked you to ask someone to watch over you.

One more key thing I've noticed amongst women....some Christian wome for some reason will avoid these types of discussions. Alot of women will feel unheard, or mis-understood. They will be told "give it to God", he cures everything...or pray about it...etc. Depression is real--for each of us--lets remember that God gave certain people skills to treat and disagnose mood disorders and they are there to help us. Being depressed is NEVER a lack of faith or beleif, and no one ever should be minmized for having depression. Depression hurts, it can kill, it can maime....BUT it also can be helped and should be. No one should ever have to be chastized for going thru life illnesses by those who think "faith" is all you need. As Christians we need to listen, believe, help and watch over our fellow people...I say this because I've seen this way to often in our Christian sector of life--and it really really bothers me. Way to many women end up feeling alone, hiding and even go into deeper depression because they dont find compassion, true love and care amongst their fellow believers. This needs to stop.

Anyhow, to end this really long post...I'm a sufferer of depression...mild but i have it. I do take a Medication for it and it does help. I've alerted someone close to me to watch me...on the medication. I also watch those around me that I know and love--for signs that they could be suffering from depression. Educate yourself on Depression, signs of it--possible triggers to bring it on and meds that could be used to treat it. Really educate yourself once you or your loved one has been given meds....really watch this. Sad as it is,,,many doctors are prescription happy and to many people are walking zombies because of that. AND last but not least...dont ever minimize someones feelings if they are claiming they are depressed...and always support that person...remember at some point in life--it could be YOU that needs the support!