Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Your time?

This topic for Thinking Girl Tuesday is kinda weird, BUT its a biggie with me and I"m just wondering if this is important to other women, or do I swim pretty much alone in this boat.
I grew up in a large family-8 brothers and sisters. I was always surrounded by people, always in a crowd. We had 5 children, again--always a busy hectic household. Thru all this, even when I was a young girl, I valued and craved and NEEDED my quiet time. It never bothered me to be alone. I like it. That is one of the ways I found i restore myself.
My husband is self-employed. In other words, he is home alot. He claims he isnt..but I think he is. 2 years ago he bought a new computer because he said the one I was using was ancient, slow and he was tired of seeing me frustrated with it. So he comes home with this new computer for what he said was my birthday present. Now mind you, Baldyman is kinda like me,,cheap. He dosnt buy expensive gifts for anyone! Well, he would buy expensive for his kids before me--lol.
I should have known there was an ulterior motive--but I didnt pick up on it. So here I am thinking and feeling kinda guilty because he bought me a computer. Anyhow,,,I notice, more and more-HE is on the computer. He slowly and quietly and eventually had all his business stuff transferred onto "my" computer. As of today--its entirely on the computer and he probably uses it more than i do now! AND...he's home alot. Somedays I actually have to call him to see if he's gone because I want to come home, and have some quiet time or hope to have some...AND be able to use "my" computer. Actually, I do that alot! I call him--and I tell you most times--he is at home. Now, I like the fact that he can let Genie out when I cant...but I'm getting awfully frustrated that its almost appearing if he's retired without telling me!
I read so many blogs where I see women will say how much they love their husband--still googly eyes after all these years....Okk I get that...but tell me does your husband actually LEAVE the house for awhile? Do you get to cook alone, bake, listen to your music, enjoy the scents of candles instead of burps and farts???? Now thats a biggie for me...we have 2 bathrooms--one at each end of the house. He will use each bathroom--right after the other--its almost like he starts in one and finishes in the other so that the entire house smells like crap! I'm not kidding--this is what this man does!
I told him yesterday--I dont know how much more i can take and I said it on a serious note-he thinks I'm not. I'm seriously considering buying a container potty and placing it in the basement and making him go down there. It would be worth paying someone to empty it once a month and have my house not smelling like butt all day.

Ok I dont know how I got onto to that topic--but probably because he's home to much. The thought I'm trying to get across is, I miss my ME time, I miss having a quiet home to restore my soul, I miss using my own computer NOT full of business crap that I think slowed it down and he swears its not his stuff but my stuff. Are any of you able to enjoy "me" time each day...or how often, or do you even need it? I cant imagine loving someone so much that you never need a break from them. I tell Baldyman--give me a CHANCE to miss you! I dont know--this is my thinking girl topic for today....I thrive on being alone and having some quiet. I'm just curious on how other women feel or even men. Is it something you value, or need, or could care less about. I'm very curious to find out!

P.S.--I am on the lookout for a small desk for my bedroom window--AND a very inexpensive laptop so that for real I have my own computer!

9 Thanks for your comments!:

Lori said...

Dawn, you are sooo funny! I practically spit my coffee out as I was reading about "your house smelling like butt all day"
I actually have to take turns with my 2 year old for computer time. She plays on Sesame Street or Nick Jr. Then the other kids come home from school and want to go on.
Thanks for making me laugh!! :)

Dawnie said...

did you notice i screwed up my blog today! I lost my 3 column template. I've been requesting help from cutest blog on the block and getting nowhere. I'm NOT a happy camper with them right now. i was told it would be easy for me to change backgrounds and of course being the computer dummy I am--I lost the 3 columns. Hopefully they will help me soon, or I"m on the lookout for a new designer--I need one that can actually help the dummy I am!

Bridget said...

I once got an espresso machine that hubby uses everyday and somehow I don't since I RARELY drink coffee.
I desperately miss me time too! I try not to complain, he is a great guy but a girl has to have some privacy once in a while. I want to pull my hair out from time to time.

JEWEL said...

Dawn - I am serious about alone time as well. Some people don't require alone time, well they think that they don't, perhaps because they have not experienced the benefits of it.

You need to provide a quiet place for yourself. Dell has great deals on laptops and I am sure other companies do as well. Just do it - you are worth it. Its only right - he has taken over yours - so you need one! You can pick up an inexpensive desk at a consignment store or craigs list.

I can just picture it ... you are sitting at your desk with all of your favorite things around you - in your space!

Ha! you are so funny! I would make it VERY obvious how the smell affects you - however you think he would pay most attention to. I would just GAG and start choking like I was going to loose my cookies! or going through the entire house spraying THE ENTIRE CAN of air freshener! :-)

Lady of the Mote said...

I can relate,my hubby also is self employed and its a feast or famine business,I tell him during the winter we practice to be retired,
I am a loner also,always was,but thats because I have been on my own since I was 14,
you need to get your own computer,hubby controls the tv around here,but thank God I have the computer,
as far as the house smelling, do what I do,lots of candles,wax melts and diffusers,lol.

JyLnC said...

My husband is very shy and he loves space and alone time. I'm social but I can be alone for days and be perfectly happy. We've learned to give each other space.

He works long hours so I have all day for me, me, me. The weekends are when I experience a disruption. I let go of my routine on weekends and just go with the flow because I know I will have alone time during the week.

I don't know what to tell you about your duo bathroom dilemma. I trained my guys to use only one of our bathrooms for their business and I have one of those wizard automatic fresheners that poofs the odor away. Love it!

Good luck with your computer purchase!

Cote de Texas said...

this is hysterical!!!!!!!!!! I am so lucky - my husband is so quiet - like a mouse. I am alone even when he's here. half the time he's in bed with a migraine.

GET YOUR OWN LAPTOP!!!! They are so cheap now, you can find one for 500!!!! pay it out!!!!!! my husband is not allowed to even look at mine, much less touch it!!

Connie said...

Dawn...you are too funny! However, I relate to much of what you say. I too need my alone time and my hubby doesnt understand that. Probably due to the fact he lived in a 900sf home all his life and had no time to himself. He has learned to let me have computer time, etc. and I stay up late to have my me time when I need it. Weekends he likes to do everything together and constantly comes looking for me when he can't see me. Retirement will be interesting.

Re: The awful smell of poop. Buy some candles and start lighting them in the morning in each bathroom or around the house. You might ask him too to do it in ONE bathroom. He will probably be offended because they(men) just don't understand that their poop stinks!!!

I agree with the other gals...get your own computer(if you can) and create a space for YOU.

Connie
P.S. I have a sister named Dawn!

Sassy said...

I also crave being alone...I am the oldest of five children and we have five and six grandchildren...the oldest being 33 but we got our babies as the good Lord sent them sooooo they are pretty strung out and the youngest just turned 17....our oldest two are daughters and away they moved and got married...I was thrilled for them but that left me with three sons and a hubby and a LARGE male dog...talk about farts and smelling up both bathrooms...I feel your pain and I tend to be a pink frou frou kinda girl who loves shabby chic and all things pretty and they seriously don't care....I so love my time alone...I love them just tons but you are correct in saying that is the time you kinda get refilled and if you are like me...you can't pour from an empty vessel and some days it is drained dry...we also are going through some family issues with my siblings and I understand that as well....the only thing I don't understand is that bone chilling COLD...we just get the hoter than the dickens here and I would enjoy more cool...well...sorry I am sure you didn't want a novel on here...just saying I sorta get your drift and I understand being downwind....LOL