Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Thoughts for an Acquaintance

I didnt know this person personally, only thru someone close to me. About a year ago, this woman was diagnosed with brain cancer..terminal. She has adult children plus one still at home--and a husband. A husband that made it very obvious he didnt love her. Not only did he not love her--he must have really disliked her, despised her. Thruout the last year of her illness her sisters and extended birth family have taken care of her. They have fought all the battles she needed fought. It was good she had them, she was never left alone to fight her disease. BUT...thru being ill and fighting to try to win this cancer...she had a partner that was so cruel to her. So cruel. I want to know how does one try and fight a deadly battle when your sad, angry, broken hearted? Surely that had to mess with her immune system and her strength. Not only did he not help take care of her,,,he verbally let it be known he didnt want to, didnt want to be around her. He complained when her sisters used pillows in the house to make her more comfortable---Those were HIS pillows. Sorry fellow bloggers, but the only word that comes to my mind right now--is what a useless F!

I was going to post about my business today but I got to thinking about this after reading Tootsies comment...because it triggered in me--when we have spouses that are not treating us well. Now dont misunderstand what I'm trying to say--i know at times all our mates have been morons--I know I have...I'm talking about those of us who would ever have had the very sad experience of maybe spending time in our lives with someone who truly cannot stand us. Thru all Baldymans bad behaviors-I can honestly say--that man would DIE taking care of me or his children--I always knew no matter how badly he behaved, he loved us with all his heart. Anyhow, i heard yesterday this lady was about an hour away from leaving this earth. I called Baldyman and he said--Can you imagine how sad she had to be? She is leaving her knowing--her husband couldnt stand her...she had to have had a really broken heart. I just felt so bad for her...I cannot imagine the depths of sadness she had to feel at times. Thank God she had a small army of loving sisters, neices, children, friends to care for her....that is awesome. But still..her life partner had to to make this last years battle so hard for her. It literally breaks ones heart. I hope she is at peace now and that her family is at peace, because they've had one hell of a year caring for her and loving her. I do know God will take care of the creep--who at one point in his life--committed to loving this woman thru sickness and death....he didnt honor his words to her or God. I cannot imagine ever doing this. For those of us--who have a loving partner--think today on how good you must feel inside knowing if we were to be diagnosed with something fatal--how our partners would make our time here good and loving...and if sadly anyone has a partner that they think wouldnt---think quickly about fastly removing them from your lives. You never know when our time will come...this lady sure had no idea she was going to get diagnosed with a brain cancer that would take her in a year. She was only in her early 50's and living a very full busy life. Life happens that way--my heart is very sad for her today. I just pray she has found love and peace, thru her family and God.

12 Thanks for your comments!:

Tootsie said...

that is so sad. I have no intention of living my life like that. I want someone who cannot live without me...and me him...I will not settle...and if my hubby doesn't pull his head out of his ass soon.....it will be HIS loss!
I do thank you for yesterdays post!

squawmama said...

Good Morning Dawnie... What a very sad story... I only hope she can come back to haunt that SOB.... I can't imagine any man doing that to their wife even if the love has left the marriage... Thank god my man stood by and comforted me when I was diagnosis with cancer... He was & still is a saint... No woman deserves to be treated badly... I can only say to the ones that know there is no love but only hatefulness is RUN... and don't look back. Life is too short... Thanks for the great post... I will pray for her peace...

(((HUGS)))
Donna

Lady of the Mote said...

How awful,all I can say is one day he will stand before God to give an account of his actions.

Bridget said...

I once heard someone in a movie say that your life partner should think that the sun shines out of your *ss. Crude I know but my darling heard it too and said he thinks that it does shine from mine and that's the way it should be!
It pains me to see people wasting their time with someone that doesn't deserve them. I know a few people that could learn from this lesson.
Thanks for the birthday visit, Bridget

Ginger said...

Hi Dawn:
It would be awful to have someone that mean in your last moments of life. That guy sounds like my ex hubby.

JEWEL said...

So sad for her. What a creep he is! When I hear of stories such as this, I find comfort in thinking that everyone has their day. Someone should tip off a reporter or write an article on this person and put it in his neighborhood paper.

She doesn't have any other family that can put a stop to this?

Shellmo said...

Her family should've booted his cruel butt out of the house! Surely it would've been better not to have to look at this evil jerk! My prayers for her peace and prayers for justice on that turkey husband!

Lilly's Life said...

That is really bad and I know of a smiliar case and it made me wonder if all the stress and hate the person had to live with affected her health.

My ex was similar in nature and the saddest thing is it gets to a point where you believe what they think about you. They are sick and often have personality disorders. They do not have empathy for any other person and you may find this man was abusive to her. In many ways he would have seen her illness as an inconvenience to him. The person I know about whose wife died of cancer just had affairs the whole time she was ill and moved in with someone else the day of her funeral leaving his kids to cope with the grief of losing their mother.

I always live with this thought, only those in pain themselves cause pain.

I hope that woman is at peace and her family can find some peace. And I hope that guy gets what is coming to him in this life or the next.

Dawnie said...

thanks guys...its sad we all know someone who has had to endure this.

You know what else baldyman has said...that most of us dont even treat our enemies this bad. I mean think of how much you have to Hate someone to be this way..I cant even imagine that.

Bridget I like your hubby's comment! How good to hear that. And Donna--how great for you to have to endure a hard illness and have a loving husband to walk the path with you. Some of us are just so blessed.

Raggedy Girl said...

Dawn:
That is so sad and I cannot imagine someone not having common human decency if not fulfilling the promises made to a person you claimed to love. I am so grateful for the man God gave me who still takes me breath away after 34 year of marriage. I am going to go give him and big hug and a kiss and tell him how wonderful he is.
Roberta Anne

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

This is just horrible! There is something terribly wrong with someone who could treat even a stranger that way, but to treat his dying wife that way-unbelievable. Thanks for making me appreciate the wonderful husband I have. laurie

Nancy said...

Dawn, this story sadens my heart! That poor woman! And to think her Children had to see their Father treat her that way...how did that make them feel! I know you said they were grown....but still! He will pay...one day that man will pay!