Monday, February 6, 2012

My Reading Corner

Hi all, its been awhile. Seems to be the same thing I say everytime I come on the blog.  Lots of changes for me in the last couple of months.  I'm now done working.  I officially went on Long Term Disability and my last week was last week.  I simply cannot do that job full time--not even part time.  They need help and my little assistance of 15 hours a week made me feel guilty.  Soo I let go.  My long term disability will cover my health insurance hopefully until Medicaid kicks in which is 2 plus years away.  Finding out about all this is pretty disconcerting.  It takes 6 months to get SSDI...and then another month to get the check..so really its 7 months for that.  For Medicaid it takes 2 years, AFTER you get your SSDI.  I think they hope you die before they have to insure you.  Anyhow, for now--for today I am ok.  I still have my  health insurance and should be able to care for that until I am eligible for Medicaid.  I had my first set of scans right before Christmas and it showed the cancer diminishing.  My oncologist said I have alot of cancer--so I have a ways to go.  I have Cancer in my breast bone, my spine, my pelvic area and my ribs.  I can tell its lessning as I have no need for any type of pain meds right now.  I weaned myself off of Morphine, Oxycodone, and Naproxen.  I was on alot of meds those first couple of months.  Today I take nothing other than my daily Femara cancer pill and my IV treatment every 3 weeks.  I am on hormone therapy.  My body seems to be responding ok to treatment. My only side effects as of today are sore tongue and fatique.  I have had problems with my treatment lately, my veins will just not cooperate.  I had the port put in last Thursday and I'm recovering from that.  I think once this heals--it will be a blessing to NOT get poked again.  My blood tests continue to be great, my immune system is at its peak.  Despite needing to lose at least 75 lbs, being full of cancer in my bones,,,they say I'm healthy--I find that funny.   Its amazing how our bodies work and respond.  Anyhow I'll take that good news!

Currently, I'm working on my website and my business. I need to bring in some sort of extra income due to losing mine.  I pray God will bless my business and my efforts.  Its taking alot of work--I'm new at this and I'm finding it NOT easy.  Each day I try to list another product...

My family is doing well, everyone is healthy and good...and thats a blessing also.  When I got sick i received several books from people.  I was unable to read them due to lack of time but now that I'm not working I do have the time.  I also wanted to declutter my house.  I simply cannot stand all this little "foo foo" stuff anymore.  I cleared out my dining room somewhat and made myself a little corner by the patio doors so I can sit and read, pray etc.  I bought this new chair, added a small angel fountain, and hopefully once the cat understands this is my chair-not HIS..I will be able to sit and use it.  I like to watch the birds eat and play and this will be an awesome place to view that.  The blanket on the chair is special.  This blanket was prayed over for 5 days by my SIL and BIL church and people.  I put it over me and pray for God to heal my body and others who have cancer.  Stage 4 is scary...I try not to be scared.  My goal is to reach NED (no evidence of disease) and stay there for 25+ years.  Most of my posts will be Cancer related, I'm sorry if that isnt fun...but its my life now.  I still enjoy cooking, decorating etc...but the reality for me--is fighting daily to live.  I know that alot of bloggers prefer the "happy" the new items for the homes, etc...while thats fun..and a nice escape...I hope that some will find their way back to me--and help me on this journey.  I'm amazed at how one can buy a lamp and get 50 comments...one can post on something like this--and get none.  We need to support each other--life is NOT all decorating and "happy".  Its dam hard, its lonely, its scary.  I hope this dosnt offend anyone but I've seen alot of death, sickness and fear the last 4 months.  I'm not the same woman.  I'm a woman that has a deep heart and ache for all those hurting out there by this insideous disease.  Please join me in freindship, and prayer..and just support!

13 Thanks for your comments!:

Laura said...

Wow Dawn! It is so good to hear from you and I'm so sorry to hear about your illness!! Thank goodness you are on the road to recovery and I pray you are better with each passing day. Thank you for stopping by the cottage and have fun working on your shop! Mine is now closed but I keep my blog up. Keep in touch!
Healing Hugs,
Laura

Julie said...

Hi Dawn,
I am so glad you updated. I've been checking. I pray for you and think of you often. I think the news you got is positive. In simple terms: it's better now--not worse now. So that's good news. I think another good thing is Spring is just around the corner and with your interest in gardening--it'll encourage you to be able to sit in your comfy chair and take in all the beautiful changes each day. Your cat is funny! We have a 13 year old labrador that has moved inside with us after being outside her whole life. She has gotten arthritis and the cold has been hard on her. We all felt so bad for her in the beginning (she came in around October) but some days I personally feel like she is this geriatric pushy in-law that has moved in with no plans of leaving! For instance: getting me up at 3 AM 5 nights in a row--just to go out and sniff!! My youngest child is 7 years old now--I don't have middle of the night issues anymore! But we love her and she has been so loyal and so wonderful with our children that we wouldn't have it any other way. I actually call her "grandmaw" now--her name is Lucy. Well--keep looking up and talking to God. He hears you and knows you. Every season in life is a learning experience and a chance to get closer to Him.
With Love,
Julie

Cindy (Applestone Cottage) said...

Hi Dawnie,
I am feeling so shook up after reading your post. I think I knew from something you posted before that something was going on but I had no idea that it was like this!
You are such a brave woman and I think you are doing all the right things for you right now.
I can't believe you felt guilty about only working 15 hours a week. Goodness, isn't that how we woman are.
Wow girlfriend, you really have been through a lot!
I actually think if more people knew you were blogging again, you would be surprised at the response.
I know that some of your followers may have just deleted or forgot to check.
I am always grateful that you come by to say hi to me so that I know your around.
Would it be ok if I do a post about you? I just want to do something, please e-mail me and let me know if this is ok.
And I think you are on the right track on your treatment and the outlook sounds very encouraging.
My e-mail is applestonecottage@gmail.com
Big Hugs and Prayers and whatever else I can do to lend a hand.
Cindy

Rebecca said...

It's so good to hear from you, Dawn. I'm sorry to hear of your illness but believe we serve a God in the healing business. May His hand be upon you as you recover.

I loved reading the update and have you in my thoughts as you seek to earn some extra income.

Blessings to you and love~ You are in my prayers. I'm excited for you and can't wait to hear what all God is doing in your life.

Love, Rebecca

Sassy said...

OHHHH MY STINKIN' STARS!!!!! I read through some more of your posts since I haven't been here in a while......I AM SICK!!! My ♥ goes out to you......I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers my old friend........hugs to you!

camp and cottage living said...

Dawn
I popped over from "Applestone Cottage'. I want you to know I will be praying for you. And let me tell you, anyone in your shoes would be consumed with thought of their situation. There is no need to apologize!
I'm so glad to hear you are not in pain and are looking forward to developing your business. I wish you the best with it!
Blessings-Kimberly

Victoria said...

Hi Dawn, I came over from Applestone Cottage. You're such a strong woman and an inspiration. My youngest sons girlfriend was diagnosed with lymphoma recently, she just started chemo and has been feeling the effects of that:( Not a nice thing to see anyone go through.

I look forward to following your story and will add myself as a follower:)

Lynn said...

Dawn, I came over to meet you by way of Cindy's blog, so glad I did. I could feel your strength in every word on your post, I could see your sense of humor intact through this time. Believe me, I know what you speak of, I lost followers and had a few not so supportive emails when I shared my heart not once but twice about my husband's remaining kidney which was according to 5 scans and several Drs and specialists a solid mass, but the Lord turned it into a complex cyst which we had been told could not be! I also saw the scans which were solid black, no light but when he went for the biopsy, no tumor, only a cyst they drained. Prior to that he did loose his other kidney to cancer. The fact that your body is responding like this is truly wonderful. I added you to my prayer list. I also am praying for other blogging to come meet you and support your fight. I believe people are afraid of the not so nice part of life, it is safer behind lamps and laughter rather than disease and pain and yet...it is all precious life is it not. So I am praying for real support for you my precious blogger friend. May I add while not life threatning, I lost my hearing at 39, making me "freaky" in the hearing world and I know first hand how people shy from anything they fear. My name is Lynn and when I pray I am thinking of that precious blanket on your chair, the one prayed over. What a beautiful way to wrap their love around you. I believe in miracles, I believe in the love and prayers in that blanket, your determination and always HIS healing touch. Thank you for touching my heart and giving me the honor of adding your to my prayer list. I will be check in on you just to say hi and support your fight often. God Bless you Dawn.

NanaDiana said...

Hi Dawn~ I am a blogging friend of Cindy's and came over from her site. There are just some odd things at play in life. We are in Disney world right now with kids and grandkids. It has been a long few days and I am tired....so tired that I haven't been checking my blogs and following up on them like I ususally do. So, just as I was about to shut my computer down tonight I thought..well, I will scroll down and catch one more blog...and it was Cindy directing me here.

I also live in Wisconsin and I want you to know that I am praying for you and lifting your name up for healing. I know how scary it is for you right now. Pray for peace, Dawn, and bask in His strength.

I am signing up as your newest follower. xo Diana

joanne said...

I'm so happy I decided to check around the blog world today...I've been rather lazy and wrapped up in my own problems, so when I stopped by Cindys place I realized I must come over here.
Wow, woman you really have a lot on your plate. I haven't read back very far but I will get over here again soon and most certainly keep an eye on you!
It is a blessing that you are not in as much pain as before and I pray you will get stronger each day. Best wishes on your shop...I'm working on one too!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, please take care. j

Beth said...

Dawn, I am sorry you are dealing with this. I do know a woman who has lived over 20 years with stage IV breast cancer. It can happen! I will be praying for you.
Blessings, Beth

Leaving A Legacy said...

Hi Dawn~ I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Thank you for being so open and honest in your post. Praying for you!

Lilly said...

Dawn, you write so well and I think you will benefit from blogging about your health. Can I mention you on my blog and send readers your way too. How is your business going. It must be hard trying to do it all. Anyway, I intend to be around to support you and in turn you will do the same for each of us. I hope you are watching some funny films. I find laughing the best. Xx