Sunday, September 28, 2008

This was great to see tonight!

Let us not become weary in doing good; for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. New Testament Galatians Chapter 6 Verse 9 NIV

Personally right now I'm going thru something and this was good for me to see. I have been questioning if once again I'm doing the right thing or better yet what God would want me to do. All my life I've tried to do what I feel is right, fair and just. Especially when it comes to my birth family. I have been pulled down by them for way to many years and I learned many many years ago in order to survive I would have to cut almost all contact and only have relationships with a few of them. That is very sad and hard because I am the oldest of 8. I have a Mother that is still alive and I believe also a father. I havent had contact with my Mother for probably close to 20 years other than minimal things here and there. At times I get very sad over it, but since so many years have gone by, I've also learned to live without a Mothers love or care and without my siblings contact. So much loss, so much ache. One of my sisters recently was sent to prison. She is the only one I do have some contact with. I've been helping get her affairs in order and trying to minimize some of the financial consequences for her. She appointed me Power of Attorney over her for now. I sometimes question should I be doing this, not because of her but because whenever I've tried to help anyone, it always has come back and hurt me. I know she wont intentionally hurt me, that she wont do...but already I've had to deal with some fall-out from some of these family members and believe me--I dont even want to hear there names anymore. I've just closed those doors. Seeing this verse, makes me feel as though I'm doing what God wants at this time....I have to believe he will look after me, guide me and be there when I need him. I hope and pray, what I'm doing will help her and when she gets out her life will be a better one and more fullfilling for her and for her children.

On that note, lets Welcome a new week! I have some recipes to share and some last blasts of color from my roses over the summer!

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